


might makes right

by Did



Series: Captain Rez'okun's Big Gay Crisis [1]
Category: World of Warcraft
Genre: Gen, Innuendo, don't make me turn this island expedition around, rastakhan is not here but a portion of his anatomy is referenced repeatedly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-07
Updated: 2018-11-07
Packaged: 2019-08-20 06:54:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16551047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Did/pseuds/Did
Summary: The Darkspear and the Zandalari are divided by a common language.





	might makes right

"...and as you all know, we will soon deploy Rastakhan's Might against the Alliance." says Captain Rez'okun, gesturing to the careful arrangement of strategic figurines atop his nautical maps.

A peculiar susurration ripples through Shadow Hunter Ty'jin's motley band of Darkspear privateers. Rez'okun raises an eyebrow and continues.

"If we act swiftly, I believe Rastakhan's Might will be able to penetrate the Kul Tiran blockade-"

The assembled Darkspear once again begin to fidget. This time there are a few audible sniggers. Rez'okun takes a deep breath through his nose and waits for the noise to die down.

"Would any of you like to explain to me what is so funny." he says in his calmest voice.

Shadow Hunter Ty'jin gazes impassively back at him. "It be nothin' of importance, Captain Rez'okun. We sure Rastakhan's Might be very impressive."

"Ya, mon!" a younger Darkspear chimes in, grinning hugely around her tusks. "We all be very eager to see Rastakhan's Might in action!"

This proclamation is met with sounds of general approval. It also opens the floodgates for a stream of similar comments.

"I heard Rastakhan's Might be studded with gold and jewels!"

"Ya think Rastakhan's Might be large enough to fit us all at once?"

"We all gonna take a ride on Rastakhan's Might!"

Many of the Darkspear are guffawing openly now; even Ty'jin's lips are starting to twitch. Rez'okun purses his lips, ears reddening, and gives Ty'jin a severe look.

"Forgive us, Captain." says Ty'jin, holding up his hands placatingly. The effect is somewhat diminished by the way his ears tremble with suppressed laughter. "You Zandalari got a…particular way of sayin' things. Sometimes it be a little funny to a Darkspear's ear."

"Perhaps you should share this peculiarity with me, so that we may all share in the amusement."

“Ah...it be your way of pronouncin’ _r'chuko,_ mon. When ya hit ya 'R' so hard it kind of sound like- well, another word.”

"And which word would this be?"

Ty'jin says nothing, but makes an evocative hand gesture. Rez’okun raises his eyes skyward and internally begs the loa for patience.

“Forgive me, _Honored Shadow Hunter_ ,” says Rez’okun, in bitingly formal Zandali. “I was under the impression that the Horde was sending soldiers to assist in this war effort, not schoolchildren. Shall I inform your commander of the mix-up?”

The group is silent for a moment. Then a troll in the back of the group says, very quietly, _“Rrr-astakhan no Rrr-chuko…”_

The group descends immediately back into chaos. All of the Darkspear immediately start chiming in with phrases of their own, all rolling their R’s in ostentatious mimicry of the Zandalari manner of speech. The commotion is starting to attract stares from nearby merchants. Ty’jin is wheezing with tears in his eyes.

After a few moments of watching this scene unfold, Rez’okun silently sits down in his chair and begins to contemplate retirement. Ty’jin eventually sidles over to him and slings a companionable arm across his shoulders.

“Don’ be worryin' so much, _Rrr-ezokun,_ ” Ty’jin cackles, offending Rez’okun’s ear with his low, brutish Darkspear accent. “We get ya mission done. Ain’t nobody here gonna pass up the chance to say they spent a few weeks gettin’ up close and personal wit’ Rastakhan’s Might.”

 

**Epilogue:**

 

"Shadow Hunter! What has been painted on the sails of my ship?!"

Ty'jin grins unrepentantly down at Rez'okun from the ship's rigging, the brim of his ridiculous pirate’s hat flapping in the wind. "Can't ya see, Captain? It be Rastakhan's Might!"

"Stop saying Rastakhan's Might! And order your lackeys to replace the sails at once!"

"It be raisin' morale, mon!"

"Whose morale?! Not mine! Not gonna be raisin' yours either when I cut all ya grog rations in half!"

Ty'jin rolls his eyes indulgently and turns away, scrambling his way up towards the mainyard as nimbly as a jungle lemur. Then he pauses and peers towards the horizon.

"...ya might wanna hold off on that order, Captain. Alliance ships be approachin'."

 

**Some distance away...**

 

"Captain! A Zandalari ship was just spotted two points off starboard bow! And it appears to be bearing an…unusual symbol."

The captain accepts the proffered spyglass and squints through it.

"...is that a penis?"

**Author's Note:**

> fun fact: rastakhan is absolutely aware that his flagship's name is a dirty pun from the perspective of non-zandalari trolls
> 
> other fun fact: rastakhan's might was the subject of so many jokes during the pandaria invasion that it practically became an inter-tribal meme
> 
> rastakhan's might: so big it bridges the borders between cultures


End file.
